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May 25th, 2004

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09:53 pm - YAWWNNNNNN wow im tired and it's been a longgggg day today was the last day of school awesome im so glad now im a junior next year lol soooooooooo yaaaa...britty were u tlaking about shawn delany? emmmmmmmmmm ur soooooo funny bfflats lol anywho peeps u need to call me so we can hang out ! this summer better rock!!!!!!!! Current Mood: sleepy

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May 5th, 2004

06:00 pm - pissy things suxs to day could say they couldnt get worse but they could so i really wouldnt jinxs it !! i said hey to stevy this morning and he didnt say anything to me i was gunna ask him how prom went but he never talks to me i think he hates me too .. and i was reading Dan's LJ and i think it hit me today that i had sumtin good and didnt realize it and lost it and there's nuttin i can do but i miss him soo much he used to be my bets friend now he hates me i hurts me sooo bad that he dont talk to me and hates me but it was m fault ... man i hate crying .. im such a whiner and crybaby... ugh... i dont know what to do anymore it makes me crazy ... Dan u'll never ever know how much u mean to me i miss u (i miss you as a friend) well im always here for u or anyone to talk to so call me if anyone needs to talk ok .. and this is my offical appolgie for being mean to anyone physically or emo soo im sorry and im really trying to change my ways so please forgive me !!!!!!!!! Current Mood: crushed

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April 26th, 2004

05:30 pm wow very gay day i couldnt stay awake i slept in 4th per.. Dan still hates me !!! o well buttin i can do ..jessica mite hook me up w/ sumone .. and i mite hang out w/ Matt lol we wony go there ..gtg Current Mood: blah

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April 23rd, 2004

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April 12th, 2004

06:27 pm im so bored Current Mood: exhausted

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April 11th, 2004

12:09 am - been a while not much to say except im tired and tomorrows easter !! soo happy easter !! and im going to bed .. Dan ur r imporant and i luv u lots !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nd the laure thing wont get better u think what u want but it's bunch of shit !!! luv ya lots Current Mood: distressed

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April 5th, 2004

08:13 pm - ughhhhhh arrggghhh im sooooooooooooooooo fucking pissed at kevin now ughhh man i just i dont know Lauren's siding w/ him again and he tells Sara im a bad friend and thats causing problems between me and her and he tell's her not to be my friend and tell's lauren im a bad friend iughhhhhhh i'm about to cry im gunna go shower so i can be alone and cry i'll bbl hopefully in a better mood and i knwo sumone will say dont let kein get to u but im a senstive person it get's to me no matter what !!!!! Current Mood: irate

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April 4th, 2004

09:10 pm - lade freeking da this weekend was kool i hung out with lauren all weekend ti's been a long time since we just chilled it was a blast .. i also got to hang out with the guys .. BJ's b day is in 2 days !! gotta remember that...steve wants me to make him a pic but i dont know what to put on it eeekkkk.. i guess him and lauren had fun this weekend !! lol we wont say !!! hummmmm...... i also got to hang out w/ my baby ! :) im gunna go to bed soon... man Dan's got this ring and he wont tell me what it's for he said he'll tell me when the time is right !!o well guess i wonder till then ......... Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: none

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April 1st, 2004

06:29 pm today was boring !! so wut else is new my days are always boring!!! guh!! anywho hung out w/ dan after school went walking on the pier it was cold what the hell is it cold for it's april!! im so ored i dont know what sara's problem was today she was being bitchy.. she always takes things out on me andn i dont know how the hell she can says she's ugly b/c she in a freeking magazine and got lots of guys that like her so ....she just wants attention and good comments and all thats shit but i gtg Current Mood: indescribable

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March 31st, 2004

09:19 pm oh ya the game ROCKED!!!!!!!1 ahhgggggggggggg man thats was the best game we ever played lol great defense !! and pretty good offence !! we'll i did pretty good forget it i did a rocking job lol caught a pop fly hit pretty good oh ya lol well gtg bbl Current Mood: cheerful

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March 30th, 2004

06:47 pm - nahhgggh im bored and sore just got home from S/B prac thats was short b/c varsity had a game and ya and then i came home and now im talkign to lauren ... bbl Current Mood: tired

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March 29th, 2004

10:28 pm - ughhhh rite now everything went to hell im in one of those moods where u want to curl up in a lil ball and cry all nite and not move forever.. the whole thing w/ kevin and lauren went to shit again and he tells me all this bad shit from previous convo below i dont knwo what to do lauren tells me im a bad friend kevin tells me i wont last long w/ dan kevin says lauren wants him more then me and he can see why and i just dont know anymore i hate these moods i get in where i dont wnat to talk to anyone be around anyone or move i dont knwo what to say .. or do ... yes i do relving the pain and hurt feels so good just wont tell u how to do it .. hopefully u wont notice how i did it !! Current Mood: distressed

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10:15 pm - me and keve's convo prt 1 ChAsMe216: ti wasnet steven DirtRawker: who was it ChAsMe216: i dont remember DirtRawker: yeah you do ChAsMe216: no i dont DirtRawker: but u remembered that i like her? DirtRawker: your not making sense ChAsMe216: how r u gunna tell me what i dont remeber and what i do DirtRawker: because DirtRawker: no matter how retarted a person is DirtRawker: if they bring up a topic DirtRawker: and ask the person if its true DirtRawker: they are bound to know who told them ChAsMe216: ya um if u say so ChAsMe216: i have ADD i cant rember shit DirtRawker: thats adhd where you dont remember shit DirtRawker: add is being overactive ChAsMe216: nooo DirtRawker: plus if your using that as an excuse u wouldnt remember your rumor ChAsMe216: attention defficet diorder DirtRawker: yeah DirtRawker: which means if ur using it as an excuse ChAsMe216: attention defficet hyper disorder DirtRawker: u wouldnt remember what they said DirtRawker: my causin has adhd and he has no short term memory ChAsMe216: ur a retaed im the one w/ add DirtRawker: and his brother has add ChAsMe216: im not adhd thats the overactive one DirtRawker: and his brother remembers everything DirtRawker: hes got add DirtRawker: my moms a nurse ChAsMe216: i dont fing care DirtRawker: alright DirtRawker: you know what chasey DirtRawker: if your not going to tell me DirtRawker: then keep it to yourself DirtRawker: dont tell lauren this stuff if you wont tlel me DirtRawker: goodbye ChAsMe216: ill t4ll lauren anything i hear about u DirtRawker: yeah DirtRawker: most of its not true ChAsMe216: if it comes from u or sum one u said it too it must be DirtRawker: do u not want lauren and i to go out? ChAsMe216: no i hate u guys going out DirtRawker: because if thats what you really want then maybe i should take a break with her DirtRawker: i mean your her best friend DirtRawker: and seems like my friends take your side ChAsMe216: but w/e makes her happy it's not wut i want DirtRawker: well fuck you chasey DirtRawker: we are going out ChAsMe216: its what she wants DirtRawker: we love eachother DirtRawker: yeah and she wants me DirtRawker: more than you DirtRawker: and i see why DirtRawker: people talk so much shit about you ChAsMe216: u'd think soo DirtRawker: not like i og and tell everyone DirtRawker: hey guess what ChAsMe216: like who DirtRawker: dee dee said chasey was a bitch DirtRawker: or something DirtRawker: see ChAsMe216: one person DirtRawker: look i am trustworthy to you DirtRawker: i tell you stuff on who said it DirtRawker: so if u have a problem u deal with her not me DirtRawker: see DirtRawker: and since you wont tell me DirtRawker: i just have a problem with you ChAsMe216: i dont care DirtRawker: alright DirtRawker: well see heres the thing DirtRawker: lauren believes me a hell of alot more than you ChAsMe216: have a problem w/ me lauren will always be my bffl and u cant change that DirtRawker: so basically u cant break us up ChAsMe216: hahah lmao ChAsMe216: sure she does DirtRawker: you know what chasey i have been pretty good with keeping your secrets i thought u were going to do the same DirtRawker: but i was wrong ChAsMe216: u just a immature little boy who dont know how to handle things DirtRawker: thats the funniest thing i have heard DirtRawker: especially coming from you miss organized DirtRawker: i gotta put that on my profile DirtRawker: anyways DirtRawker: i dont like fighting with you chasey DirtRawker: so im going to just let it go okay? DirtRawker: i mean all i wanted to knwo was whose saying this DirtRawker: because ur also hurting her feelings if your hurting mine ChAsMe216: well i dispise u going out with lauren DirtRawker: and i dont want to hurt lauren DirtRawker: i dont know what u want to do DirtRawker: im sorry DirtRawker: im sorry you feel that way DirtRawker: why do you feel that way anyways? ChAsMe216: ok it's like this ChAsMe216: me lauren = bffl and then u came along .. me lauren not so good bffl always in fights never talking never hanging out and ur always w/ her more then me .. im a jealous person ..ren;s my sis and u stole her and she broke a promise u get it now? DirtRawker: ill explain back in a sec DirtRawker: okay DirtRawker: my mom was looking at the comp DirtRawker: anyways ChAsMe216: do u understanfe ChAsMe216: de* DirtRawker: im sorry i "stole" your friend and "brainwashed" her DirtRawker: but think of it this way DirtRawker: u stole my friends too DirtRawker: i mean u see bj alot more than i do now DirtRawker: and steven took your side DirtRawker: and now u have dan that u see all the time DirtRawker: u know how u see dan all the time nwo DirtRawker: i rarely see lauren ChAsMe216: rarley my fucking white ass DirtRawker: i know how crazy ud go if you didnt see dan all the time like 2 times a week ChAsMe216: i ahvent seen her in 2 months DirtRawker: honestly chasey its difficult to handle DirtRawker: and we told eachother wed work it out even though we are far away DirtRawker: im sorry DirtRawker: u make plans with her dont expect me to make plans with her DirtRawker: shes the only person i can hang otu with now that wont tun on me ChAsMe216: yes dan's my b/f and yes i see BJ but thats not my fault BJ is always w/ dan when im w/ him DirtRawker: so in a way shes my bestfriend and girlfriend DirtRawker: so please dont try to take away what i have left DirtRawker: itd be too selfish DirtRawker: i mean u have alot of friends now DirtRawker: and i think u might have told bj and dan stuff to and they are probly mad at me ChAsMe216: see u thinks thats hard DirtRawker: so please chasey i know how you feel DirtRawker: i need her ChAsMe216: i wont see Dan for 10 10 weeks during the summer DirtRawker: chasey u know u couldnt stay with dan that long anyways ChAsMe216: u cant even imgain how i feel kevin it's VERY diff for guys DirtRawker: no offence DirtRawker: but seriously DirtRawker: listen DirtRawker: guys are proven to be more emotional than girls DirtRawker: read it in all magazines ChAsMe216: that was wrong u dont know how i am w/ dan so dont even say that DirtRawker: well then dont predict me and lauren DirtRawker: just let us have our relationship without budging in and i wont intrude on you and dans, deal? DirtRawker: if u wanna hang out with her be my guest ChAsMe216: i cant b/c ur always w/ her and u get pissed when im w/ her b/c u cant have her ChAsMe216: and she wants to make u happy so she goes w u DirtRawker: well chasey DirtRawker: im sorry DirtRawker: shes all i got left i guess DirtRawker: and it scares me i dont wanna loose her too DirtRawker: i mean u see your best friend sara everyday DirtRawker: and my best friend left me for his girlfriend DirtRawker: whats that leave me with? DirtRawker: lauren DirtRawker: bj doesnt think i deserve lauren DirtRawker: and i dont think i do anyways DirtRawker: which is why im afraid to loose her ChAsMe216: wait wiat wait wut u dont understand is laurens been my bffl for 10 yrs 10 yrs that bonds stronger then anything u and lauren have DirtRawker: so i jsut dont need you trying to break us up im sorry DirtRawker: chasey ChAsMe216: & about the budging in on ur relationship thing thats wut i do learn to live w/ it or leave it DirtRawker: what do you want from me DirtRawker: do you want me to admit you made me feel the shittiest i ever have DirtRawker: because u passed if thats what u wanted DirtRawker: and if you just want lauren to leave me so you can add on another firend to stay with you al the time and leave me with no one to hang with anytime then i guess im jsut worthless to you DirtRawker: im sorry chasey DirtRawker: i cant let my life go in the shitter ChAsMe216: see kevin WHAT U DONT UNDERSTAND IS IM NOT TRYING TO BREAK YA'LL UP IM JUST TELLING U THINGS I WOULDNT HURT LAUREN !! AND THATS WHY I TELL HER THNGS TO KEEP HER FROM GETTING HURT DirtRawker: though i knwo how much you wanna see me fail, me fall, me loose everything DirtRawker: do you wan me to give you money too? DirtRawker: how much do i have to pay just to see my girlfriend? DirtRawker: well ChAsMe216: kevin u dont understand i dont wanty that for u DirtRawker: chasey DirtRawker: listen ChAsMe216: no listen to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee DirtRawker: u think i havent thought of that? DirtRawker: listen first please DirtRawker: pleaase DirtRawker: and i promise ill listen to you DirtRawker: okay well heres what usually works if theres a snitch warping words and they tell you something usually you talk to the person its about and see if its true and if not who you have to inform the truth to to let them understand aswell so they dont end off as a bad tie, otherwise it creates arguements, so im sorry chasey for putting you through this i jsut wanted to know so i coudl try to keep lauren Current Mood: irritated

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07:33 pm - confused humm today was tyring .. ?? not spelled right!!! first day back to school i draged ass all day hummm.. im so bored.. i never know what i want anymore and it drives me nuts ... i wish things could be simple.. i think i was mean to dan today and i didnt mean to be i just had one of them days !!!.. softball just gets my mind off things thats why i love it soo much.. prac was ok i couldnt catch but i could hit ok... the yearbook came around and asked for key players for JV and i was the most improved ohh ya !!! lol well bbl Current Mood: crappy Current Music: there aint nuttin about u !!

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March 28th, 2004

07:55 pm - bored like always sittin here talking to dan spring reak was ok hung out w/ the guys !! did much of nuttin !! too bored to write bbl! Current Mood: bored Current Music: songs about rain

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March 27th, 2004

12:02 pm im going to my cuz's so0n to go ride horses and 4 wheeler and all the neck stuff great fun :) snywho i'll be back tomorrow luv ya !! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: have you ever

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March 26th, 2004

06:03 pm - idk i started this at 6:03 and ended @ 6:20 wow that alot today was fun dan came and picked me up we went to the mall the came back to my house and hung out then he left for work :( !!! but ya anywho im soo bored and im kinda tired thats weird cuz i been sleeping alot latley maybe b/c of spring break !! we won our softball game against lemon bay !! oh ya go us 10~0 !!!! and i got to hit and i struck out once but then i got revenge and hit it out to right feild and got on first and got a RBI (if u dont know what that is ur baseball/softball illerate) *(runner brought in)* i scored one of the points and got throw out but it was a nice line drive through 1st and 2nd !! but i gave it my all!!! ya im so proud !!1 hehe !!!!! Ren has been gone forever!! sumtimes no wait all the time i wish her and kevin would just break up !!! b/c he stole her away and it suxs i barley see her and she freeking drives !! always comes and gets him but not me !!! anit that sum shit !! o well she'll always be my bffl no matter what !! i think her and steve would be cuter together!!! lol but NOOOOO she likes Kevin who persistantly bothers me and we do not get along !! which makes matters worse !!! cuz we all cant hang out together !! me and Dan r dating again but i hope it goes good this time i really want it to stay like this for a long time ... he told me when he talked to sam *asshole* that sam said he got what he wanted and Dan said thats not even fucking funny and sam appolgized but o well f him ! idc anymore i have sumone better w/ the coolest friends !! (B~heh,Steve) and i luv them to death and we all hang out and get along .. i just gotta make dan chill on when were at his house and the guys are there and we in the other room i like to ust all be in one room and hang out so i dont leave them out or make them think im stealing Dan like lauren did to kevin !! but ya im going my wrists hurts like a mf'er ttyl !! Current Mood: sleepy

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March 23rd, 2004

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March 22nd, 2004

11:11 pm - thinking again!!! Of all the boys I have ever met, you're the one I won't forget. I know now we're just friends, but to me us two will never end. If I had one dream tonight, it would be of me and you. If I had one wish, I'd wish you loved me too. I'm going to smile and make you think I'm happy I'm going to laugh so you don't see me cry I'm going to let you go in stlye And even if it kills me I'm going to smile I'd trade all of my tomorrow's for one singel yesterday, just to be with you again. How come the person that stops you from crying,is the reason why you're crying? "I wanna be the one to make you happiest, it hurts you the most They say the end is near, it's important that we close.. .. to the most, high Regardless of what happen... There are times, when you'll need someone, I will be by your side, There is a light, that shines, special for you, and me.. If you know who this is for dont say anything he know's who it's about!! i'm thankful for everything we've had and he's still my bff no matter what !! Current Mood: numb Current Music: remember when???

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