gone lost and dont want be found

Wed, 26 May 2004 02:05:02 GMT

.......... sooooo boredddddd he barley talks to me in school it's weird but he tells me he likes me and i know he does but i still doubt him sum times ? weird but ya we're supposed to hang out.. fu** my comps gay ill bbl

YAWWNNNNNN

Wed, 26 May 2004 01:57:21 GMT

wow im tired and it's been a longgggg day today was the last day of school awesome im so glad now im a junior next year lol soooooooooo yaaaa...britty were u tlaking about shawn delany? emmmmmmmmmm ur soooooo funny bfflats lol anywho peeps u need to call me so we can hang out ! this summer better rock!!!!!!!!

pissy

Wed, 05 May 2004 22:08:23 GMT

things suxs to day could say they couldnt get worse but they could so i really wouldnt jinxs it !! i said hey to stevy this morning and he didnt say anything to me i was gunna ask him how prom went but he never talks to me i think he hates me too .. and i was reading Dan's LJ and i think it hit me today that i had sumtin good and didnt realize it and lost it and there's nuttin i can do but i miss him soo much he used to be my bets friend now he hates me i hurts me sooo bad that he dont talk to me and hates me but it was m fault ... man i hate crying .. im such a whiner and crybaby... ugh... i dont know what to do anymore it makes me crazy ... Dan u'll never ever know how much u mean to me i miss u (i miss you as a friend) well im always here for u or anyone to talk to so call me if anyone needs to talk ok .. and this is my offical appolgie for being mean to anyone physically or emo soo im sorry and im really trying to change my ways so please forgive me !!!!!!!!!

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 21:33:17 GMT

wow very gay day i couldnt stay awake i slept in 4th per.. Dan still hates me !!! o well buttin i can do ..jessica mite hook me up w/ sumone .. and i mite hang out w/ Matt lol we wony go there ..gtg

man i havent updated

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 03:01:00 GMT

in a longggg time
lol so Emily is soo kool lol if u read this !!

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 21:30:20 GMT

im so bored

been a while

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 03:11:27 GMT

not much to say except im tired and tomorrows easter !! soo happy easter !! and im going to bed .. Dan ur r imporant and i luv u lots !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nd the laure thing wont get better u think what u want but it's bunch of shit !!! luv ya lots

ughhhhhh arrggghhh

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 23:17:09 GMT

im sooooooooooooooooo fucking pissed at kevin now ughhh man i just i dont know Lauren's siding w/ him again and he tells Sara im a bad friend and thats causing problems between me and her and he tell's her not to be my friend and tell's lauren im a bad friend iughhhhhhh i'm about to cry im gunna go shower so i can be alone and cry i'll bbl hopefully in a better mood and i knwo sumone will say dont let kein get to u but im a senstive person it get's to me no matter what !!!!!

lade freeking da

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 01:17:48 GMT

this weekend was kool i hung out with lauren all weekend ti's been a long time since we just chilled it was a blast .. i also got to hang out with the guys .. BJ's b day is in 2 days !! gotta remember that...steve wants me to make him a pic but i dont know what to put on it eeekkkk.. i guess him and lauren had fun this weekend !! lol we wont say !!! hummmmm...... i also got to hang out w/ my baby ! :) im gunna go to bed soon... man Dan's got this ring and he wont tell me what it's for he said he'll tell me when the time is right !!o well guess i wonder till then .........

Thu, 01 Apr 2004 23:35:33 GMT

today was boring !! so wut else is new my days are always boring!!! guh!! anywho hung out w/ dan after school went walking on the pier it was cold what the hell is it cold for it's april!! im so ored i dont know what sara's problem was today she was being bitchy.. she always takes things out on me andn i dont know how the hell she can says she's ugly b/c she in a freeking magazine and got lots of guys that like her so ....she just wants attention and good comments and all thats shit but i gtg

Thu, 01 Apr 2004 02:26:39 GMT

oh ya the game ROCKED!!!!!!!1 ahhgggggggggggg man thats was the best game we ever played lol great defense !! and pretty good offence !! we'll i did pretty good forget it i did a rocking job lol caught a pop fly hit pretty good oh ya lol well gtg bbl

nahhgggh

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 23:55:29 GMT

im bored and sore just got home from S/B prac thats was short b/c varsity had a game and ya and then i came home and now im talkign to lauren ... bbl

ughhhh

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 03:36:52 GMT

rite now everything went to hell im in one of those moods where u want to curl up in a lil ball and cry all nite and not move forever.. the whole thing w/ kevin and lauren went to shit again and he tells me all this bad shit from previous convo below i dont knwo what to do lauren tells me im a bad friend kevin tells me i wont last long w/ dan kevin says lauren wants him more then me and he can see why and i just dont know anymore i hate these moods i get in where i dont wnat to talk to anyone be around anyone or move i dont knwo what to say .. or do ... yes i do relving the pain and hurt feels so good just wont tell u how to do it .. hopefully u wont notice how i did it !!

me and keve's convo prt 1

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 03:16:39 GMT

ChAsMe216: ti wasnet steven
DirtRawker: who was it
ChAsMe216: i dont remember
DirtRawker: yeah you do
ChAsMe216: no i dont
DirtRawker: but u remembered that i like her?
DirtRawker: your not making sense
ChAsMe216: how r u gunna tell me what i dont remeber and what i do
DirtRawker: because
DirtRawker: no matter how retarted a person is
DirtRawker: if they bring up a topic
DirtRawker: and ask the person if its true
DirtRawker: they are bound to know who told them
ChAsMe216: ya um if u say so
ChAsMe216: i have ADD i cant rember shit
DirtRawker: thats adhd where you dont remember shit
DirtRawker: add is being overactive
ChAsMe216: nooo
DirtRawker: plus if your using that as an excuse u wouldnt remember your rumor
ChAsMe216: attention defficet diorder
DirtRawker: yeah
DirtRawker: which means if ur using it as an excuse
ChAsMe216: attention defficet hyper disorder
DirtRawker: u wouldnt remember what they said
DirtRawker: my causin has adhd and he has no short term memory
ChAsMe216: ur a retaed im the one w/ add
DirtRawker: and his brother has add
ChAsMe216: im not adhd thats the overactive one
DirtRawker: and his brother remembers everything
DirtRawker: hes got add
DirtRawker: my moms a nurse
ChAsMe216: i dont fing care
DirtRawker: alright
DirtRawker: you know what chasey
DirtRawker: if your not going to tell me
DirtRawker: then keep it to yourself
DirtRawker: dont tell lauren this stuff if you wont tlel me
DirtRawker: goodbye
ChAsMe216: ill t4ll lauren anything i hear about u
DirtRawker: yeah
DirtRawker: most of its not true
ChAsMe216: if it comes from u or sum one u said it too it must be
DirtRawker: do u not want lauren and i to go out?
ChAsMe216: no i hate u guys going out
DirtRawker: because if thats what you really want then maybe i should take a break with her
DirtRawker: i mean your her best friend
DirtRawker: and seems like my friends take your side
ChAsMe216: but w/e makes her happy it's not wut i want
DirtRawker: well fuck you chasey
DirtRawker: we are going out
ChAsMe216: its what she wants
DirtRawker: we love eachother
DirtRawker: yeah and she wants me
DirtRawker: more than you
DirtRawker: and i see why
DirtRawker: people talk so much shit about you
ChAsMe216: u'd think soo
DirtRawker: not like i og and tell everyone
DirtRawker: hey guess what
ChAsMe216: like who
DirtRawker: dee dee said chasey was a bitch
DirtRawker: or something
DirtRawker: see
ChAsMe216: one person
DirtRawker: look i am trustworthy to you
DirtRawker: i tell you stuff on who said it
DirtRawker: so if u have a problem u deal with her not me
DirtRawker: see
DirtRawker: and since you wont tell me
DirtRawker: i just have a problem with you
ChAsMe216: i dont care
DirtRawker: alright
DirtRawker: well see heres the thing
DirtRawker: lauren believes me a hell of alot more than you
ChAsMe216: have a problem w/ me lauren will always be my bffl and u cant change that
DirtRawker: so basically u cant break us up
ChAsMe216: hahah lmao
ChAsMe216: sure she does
DirtRawker: you know what chasey i have been pretty good with keeping your secrets i thought u were going to do the same
DirtRawker: but i was wrong
ChAsMe216: u just a immature little boy who dont know how to handle things
DirtRawker: thats the funniest thing i have heard
DirtRawker: especially coming from you miss organized
DirtRawker: i gotta put that on my profile
DirtRawker: anyways
DirtRawker: i dont like fighting with you chasey
DirtRawker: so im going to just let it go okay?
DirtRawker: i mean all i wanted to knwo was whose saying this
DirtRawker: because ur also hurting her feelings if your hurting mine
ChAsMe216: well i dispise u going out with lauren
DirtRawker: and i dont want to hurt lauren
DirtRawker: i dont know what u want to do
DirtRawker: im sorry
DirtRawker: im sorry you feel that way
DirtRawker: why do you feel that way anyways?
ChAsMe216: ok it's like this
ChAsMe216: me lauren = bffl and then u came along .. me lauren not so good bffl always in fights never talking never hanging out and ur always w/ her more then me .. im a jealous person ..ren;s my sis and u stole her and she broke a promise u get it now?
DirtRawker: ill explain back in a sec
DirtRawker: okay
DirtRawker: my mom was looking at the comp
DirtRawker: anyways
ChAsMe216: do u understanfe
ChAsMe216: de*
DirtRawker: im sorry i "stole" your friend and "brainwashed" her
DirtRawker: but think of it this way
DirtRawker: u stole my friends too
DirtRawker: i mean u see bj alot more than i do now
DirtRawker: and steven took your side
DirtRawker: and now u have dan that u see all the time
DirtRawker: u know how u see dan all the time nwo
DirtRawker: i rarely see lauren
ChAsMe216: rarley my fucking white ass
DirtRawker: i know how crazy ud go if you didnt see dan all the time like 2 times a week
ChAsMe216: i ahvent seen her in 2 months
DirtRawker: honestly chasey its difficult to handle
DirtRawker: and we told eachother wed work it out even though we are far away
DirtRawker: im sorry
DirtRawker: u make plans with her dont expect me to make plans with her
DirtRawker: shes the only person i can hang otu with now that wont tun on me
ChAsMe216: yes dan's my b/f and yes i see BJ but thats not my fault BJ is always w/ dan when im w/ him
DirtRawker: so in a way shes my bestfriend and girlfriend
DirtRawker: so please dont try to take away what i have left
DirtRawker: itd be too selfish
DirtRawker: i mean u have alot of friends now
DirtRawker: and i think u might have told bj and dan stuff to and they are probly mad at me
ChAsMe216: see u thinks thats hard
DirtRawker: so please chasey i know how you feel
DirtRawker: i need her
ChAsMe216: i wont see Dan for 10 10 weeks during the summer
DirtRawker: chasey u know u couldnt stay with dan that long anyways
ChAsMe216: u cant even imgain how i feel kevin it's VERY diff for guys
DirtRawker: no offence
DirtRawker: but seriously
DirtRawker: listen
DirtRawker: guys are proven to be more emotional than girls
DirtRawker: read it in all magazines
ChAsMe216: that was wrong u dont know how i am w/ dan so dont even say that
DirtRawker: well then dont predict me and lauren
DirtRawker: just let us have our relationship without budging in and i wont intrude on you and dans, deal?
DirtRawker: if u wanna hang out with her be my guest
ChAsMe216: i cant b/c ur always w/ her and u get pissed when im w/ her b/c u cant have her
ChAsMe216: and she wants to make u happy so she goes w u
DirtRawker: well chasey
DirtRawker: im sorry
DirtRawker: shes all i got left i guess
DirtRawker: and it scares me i dont wanna loose her too
DirtRawker: i mean u see your best friend sara everyday
DirtRawker: and my best friend left me for his girlfriend
DirtRawker: whats that leave me with?
DirtRawker: lauren
DirtRawker: bj doesnt think i deserve lauren
DirtRawker: and i dont think i do anyways
DirtRawker: which is why im afraid to loose her
ChAsMe216: wait wiat wait wut u dont understand is laurens been my bffl for 10 yrs 10 yrs that bonds stronger then anything u and lauren have
DirtRawker: so i jsut dont need you trying to break us up im sorry
DirtRawker: chasey
ChAsMe216: & about the budging in on ur relationship thing thats wut i do learn to live w/ it or leave it
DirtRawker: what do you want from me
DirtRawker: do you want me to admit you made me feel the shittiest i ever have
DirtRawker: because u passed if thats what u wanted
DirtRawker: and if you just want lauren to leave me so you can add on another firend to stay with you al the time and leave me with no one to hang with anytime then i guess im jsut worthless to you
DirtRawker: im sorry chasey
DirtRawker: i cant let my life go in the shitter
ChAsMe216: see kevin WHAT U DONT UNDERSTAND IS IM NOT TRYING TO BREAK YA'LL UP IM JUST TELLING U THINGS I WOULDNT HURT LAUREN !! AND THATS WHY I TELL HER THNGS TO KEEP HER FROM GETTING HURT
DirtRawker: though i knwo how much you wanna see me fail, me fall, me loose everything
DirtRawker: do you wan me to give you money too?
DirtRawker: how much do i have to pay just to see my girlfriend?
DirtRawker: well
ChAsMe216: kevin u dont understand i dont wanty that for u
DirtRawker: chasey
DirtRawker: listen
ChAsMe216: no listen to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
DirtRawker: u think i havent thought of that?
DirtRawker: listen first please
DirtRawker: pleaase
DirtRawker: and i promise ill listen to you
DirtRawker: okay well heres what usually works if theres a snitch warping words and they tell you something usually you talk to the person its about and see if its true and if not who you have to inform the truth to to let them understand aswell so they dont end off as a bad tie, otherwise it creates arguements, so im sorry chasey for putting you through this i jsut wanted to know so i coudl try to keep lauren

confused

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 00:41:19 GMT

humm today was tyring .. ?? not spelled right!!! first day back to school i draged ass all day hummm.. im so bored.. i never know what i want anymore and it drives me nuts ... i wish things could be simple.. i think i was mean to dan today and i didnt mean to be i just had one of them days !!!.. softball just gets my mind off things thats why i love it soo much.. prac was ok i couldnt catch but i could hit ok... the yearbook came around and asked for key players for JV and i was the most improved ohh ya !!! lol well bbl

bored like always

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 00:59:24 GMT

sittin here talking to dan spring reak was ok hung out w/ the guys !! did much of nuttin !! too bored to write bbl!

Sat, 27 Mar 2004 17:04:49 GMT

im going to my cuz's so0n to go ride horses and 4 wheeler and all the neck stuff great fun :) snywho i'll be back tomorrow luv ya !!

idk i started this at 6:03 and ended @ 6:20 wow that alot

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 23:20:51 GMT

today was fun dan came and picked me up we went to the mall the came back to my house and hung out then he left for work
:( !!! but ya anywho im soo bored and im kinda tired thats weird cuz i been sleeping alot latley maybe b/c of spring break !! we won our softball game against lemon bay !! oh ya go us 10~0 !!!! and i got to hit and i struck out once but then i got revenge and hit it out to right feild and got on first and got a RBI (if u dont know what that is ur baseball/softball illerate) *(runner brought in)* i scored one of the points and got throw out but it was a nice line drive through 1st and 2nd !! but i gave it my all!!! ya im so proud !!1 hehe !!!!! Ren has been gone forever!! sumtimes no wait all the time i wish her and kevin would just break up !!! b/c he stole her away and it suxs i barley see her and she freeking drives !! always comes and gets him but not me !!! anit that sum shit !! o well she'll always be my bffl no matter what !! i think her and steve would be cuter together!!! lol but NOOOOO she likes Kevin who persistantly bothers me and we do not get along !! which makes matters worse !!! cuz we all cant hang out together !! me and Dan r dating again but i hope it goes good this time i really want it to stay like this for a long time ... he told me when he talked to sam *asshole* that sam said he got what he wanted and Dan said thats not even fucking funny and sam appolgized but o well f him ! idc anymore i have sumone better w/ the coolest friends !! (B~heh,Steve) and i luv them to death and we all hang out and get along .. i just gotta make dan chill on when were at his house and the guys are there and we in the other room i like to ust all be in one room and hang out so i dont leave them out or make them think im stealing Dan like lauren did to kevin !! but ya im going my wrists hurts like a mf'er ttyl !!

hummm..

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 00:22:35 GMT

i just got home from softball camp those lil kids are wacko!! shastin and jessie crack me up it would be cool to hang out with them sumtime but there seniors so they wouldnt want to hang out w/ me !! so anyways im bored think im gunna go see whats going on tonite !! probley nuttin !! my sunburn hurts im going to the mall w/ dan and steve !!bbl

thinking again!!!

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 04:14:17 GMT

Of all the boys I have ever met, you're the one I won't forget. I know now we're just friends, but to me us two will never end. If I had one dream tonight, it would be of me and you. If I had one wish, I'd wish you loved me too.

I'm going to smile and make you think I'm happy
I'm going to laugh so you don't see me cry
I'm going to let you go in stlye
And even if it kills me I'm going to smile

I'd trade all of my tomorrow's for one singel yesterday, just to be with you again.

How come the person that stops you from crying,is the reason why you're crying?

"I wanna be the one to make you
happiest, it hurts you the most
They say the end is near, it's important that we close..
.. to the most, high
Regardless of what happen...
There are times, when you'll need someone, I will be by your side, There is a light, that shines, special for you, and me..

If you know who this is for dont say anything he know's who it's about!! i'm thankful for everything we've had and he's still my bff no matter what !!

im sorry

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 00:29:43 GMT

today was kinda kool i went over to zack's and watched freddy vs. jason thats was good .. but ya then i realized i still have feelings for sumone else but they like sumone else and i didnt expect him to still be here for me to come back to and i know i've hurt him before but people change and so do i he's my best guy friend i'm so comfterable around him i can talk to him about anything he means everything to me but i would only want him to do what maeks him happy if katie is what he wants then so be i will tell him i'm happy for him and hope i only lose out on a realtionship not my friendship too ...

hiccups

Thu, 18 Mar 2004 02:37:42 GMT

i've got the hiccups... today was boring !!! man we have a game tomorrow and i hope we win !! but o well Dan drives me crazy sumtines lol jk ! but thtas just howit is i hope tomorrow is exciting there is no new guys in our school left for me lol well thats i've seen only a few the other ones !!! but im not sure they'd like me nno intrest !! gtg

Chase

sleepy

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 20:04:01 GMT

gettting ready to go to prac being really bored..... Dan told on me !! i'm afraid he thinks bad of me o well

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 02:47:12 GMT

Dan is so .... j/k i love ya kid !!

tired

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 00:20:26 GMT

humm what a gay day i did nuttin i changed my 3rd period then i went to my new lunch that was kool i guess anyways ya im so bored !!! my day was crappy !!! o well it could always be worse i gotta stop being selfish !!! i saw Dan during 3rd lol he cracks me up he looked cute today !!! i luv him he's wanna of the only good guys i know him bj steven and maybe a few other guys but thats about it the rest are all jackasses and only want one thing from you i am starting to hate the guys at my school more each day !! !!! o well things should get better... i sorta think this one guys is cute but i've never talked to him and he's friedns with some of my friends and i think he has a g/f or likes sumone he's a bit tall for me but lol and Dan dont ask who and i know as soon as u read this u'll ask but im seriosly not telling you this one well maybe if u can get it out of me !!!!

well gtg ttyl

chase